The beginning
by themask77
Summary: just a simple get together between 4 friends celebrating there fav anime Naruto until a flashing light took them away to the real thing. now being stuck in the world of your fav anime is fun but when all the people you meet try to kill you it gets tiring
1. Chapter 1

"jump, JUMP"

"hahah,hahahha"

"No, Damit MOVE"

"aannd special JUTSU"

"No! damit! No!"

"battle over" said a electronic announcers voice

'ding dong' went the door bell, and a "ill get it! "was shouted by a girl, blue eyes flashing in triumph. The boy standing next to her however was not feeling so cheery. But seeing a chance to heal his bruised pride he let out a shout of "not if I get there first!"

suddenly it turned in to a race up the stairs with a minor scuffle involved but they both slammed into the door the girl a half a second behind.

"take that!" yelled the boy brown eyes shining happily.

" no fair you tripped me! "said the girl in defense.

"whatever" countered the boy smugly, before opening the door.

to see two people standing on the door step.

"wow, you guys are incredibly loud. "said a black haired girl with a smirk.

"What?, you're dressed up as sasuke? I thought you hated him" said the girl forgetting it's polite to greet someone first.

"Yes I'm" said the black haired girl "and I do but it's the only costume I cloud come up with and I believe you said something like 'come in costume or don't come at all'

Sound familiar, Chase?"

The girl 'Chase' decided to ignore that last comment and turned to her other guest.

"Hello- eh what the hell is that?"

She of course was talking about the other girl that was standing on her door step that had bright blue hair in three messy buns bright blue skin that matched her hair perfectly

One sharingan contact a sword that was wrapped in toilet paper and a slashed out leaf forehead protector.

The blue haired girl gave a big smile and said "I couldn't decide who to come as so I came as both Kisame and Itachi!"

"Oh" said Chase trying (and failing) not to think about a universe where Kisame or Itachi had buns.

"Anna Alex come on already, me and chase just unlocked everyone" said the boy looking bored.

"Keep your hair on, geez" said the black haired girl (a.k.a. Anna.) As she removed her bag from her shoulder "I brought the Shippuden sires that I got"

"YAAY! This is gonna be the best Naruto party ever! "Yelled the blue haired girl (a.k.a Alex)

"And we were all in the Akatsuki at some point "she said referring to the costumes that they all wore.

"True dat" said chase lifting her hands so Alex cloud see the mouth's she had drawn on with eyeliner one with its tongue sticking out and the other sewn shut.

"Yes, yes I'm Tobi she's Deidara, you love the Atkatsuki, we get it. now will you get in here so we can play the game already?" said the inpatient boy.

"Oh calm down Chris, or should I say lollipop head?" said Anna. Trade mark smirk on her face.

Chris merely "hmmm"ed and moved the orange swirl mask from its resting position on the side of his head to over his face and folded his arms.

"Naruto Wii style tournament commence!" Shouted Chase, pumping a fist in the air. There was a yell of "YAAY!!" "Finally" and a "whatever"

as the four teens made there way down the stairs and in to the TV. Room to play the video game of there favorite anime.

"Get away from me you creeper snake!"

"It's not my fault, the random button chose"

"WAHAHAHAA ATACK FROM ABOVE"

"Yeah! Well, SHARK BOMB JUTSU!!"

"Ah, man I'm dead"

"Poor poor Anna such a horrible gamer forced to shame her family for all etirne-OWCH!! ANNA YOU MADE ME DIE!"

"serves you right lollipop" said Anna." hurry up you two I want to watch it some time tonight"

"RASENGAN"

"Battle is over"

"HAHAHA beat ya Chase, which makes ME the champ!"

"ahhh maaaaan" said Chase as she looked at her friend who looked much less miss matched seeing as she had taken out the contact lens(saying it was itchy)and her forehead protector (saying she was now going to be Kisame's little sister) and took out the can of cola that was promised to the winner and handed it to her.

"it was rigged I tell ya" muttered Chris as he turned on the DVD. player and put in the disk.

the intro played as everyone got seats and in some cases chips. after all of them were settled in the light's were turned off and the episode was selected.

the first episode of Shippuden played in silence interrupted only

by whispers of "kick his brain's out" "really?" "man, he is so gay" and "that was so sweet" however all that changed when in the middle of the show a large flash of light came and with it a loud "BAMG" it went as soon as it came and once it was gone so were four teens.

the empty room was quiet except for the voices that still came from the TV. but then there was a "click zap" and that was gone too.

to be continued.....


	2. Alex

**DISCLAMER I DO NOT OWN NARUTO**

**Alex POV**

"**Oohh I'm gunna be sick "I have no idea what's going on, as soon as that big flash came I closed my eyes and I haven't been able to open them. **

**But I could feel myself being thrown off the sofa and I've just kept spinning **

"**he he hee just keep spinning, just keep spinning, just keep spinning, spinning, spinning "**

**Finding Nemo was such an awesome movie.**

**Bruce the shark was the best and Dore was the second best- "SMACK" "eep" wet wet cold "AHH I'm gunna drown I'm gunna drown" it took about three minutes of my thrashing around and screaming before I tried to open my eyes. To my surprise it worked, I saw a grey blue sky above of me it took another 10 seconds to see that no I was not drowning I was laying in a puddle.**

**I sat up. Oh god I hope no one saw that. **

**Now thoroughly soaked I stood up and stepped out of the puddle hugging myself in hopes of staying warm.**

**Looking around I see… mist. Yep lots of mist and a few more puddle stretching into the mist. **

**Hmm how strange.**

**Well I should probably find some people. Rubbing my arm's to regain some feeling I noticed that I still had on my blue make up. Wow this stuff is durable. Wait, would it look good if a blue skinned girl came out of heavy fog like in some scary horror film? They might think I'm a zombie and start shooting me with a shotgun "gasp" or try cutting my head off with a chainsaw or maybe even a rusty shovel!!**

**I started scrubbing my arms like mad. But. It. Won't. Come. Off. **

**Hmm how strange.**

**Okay no need to worry I can just cover it up until I find soap. That way no one will think I'm a zombie.**

**Now to find something to cover my skin. Hmm what do I got?**

**Well, I'm wearing black jeans so all of my legs are covered. I think I got a scarf in my bag.**

**I took my nice bright lime green bag off my shoulder set it on the ground and started rummaging through it.**

**Hm a rubber duck, a pocket knife, an apple, and yay my red scarf's! A blue hat my grandma knitted,**

**And a black sports jacket that I found on the sidewalk outside my house.**

**Yep, this will work fine.**

**After making sure that the jacket hat and scarf was on so no blue was showing and rearranging my hair so that couldn't be see ether and putting my bag over my shoulder I started what I was sure would be a very long walk through the seemingly endless fog .**


	3. Chase

**Disclaimer****I do not own Naruto**

Chase POV

Flash. Spin spin spin …flash spin spin spin ….oh god I'm going to hurl.

Here I was floating in this crazy colorful… spaces I guess you cloud call it and it's incredibly annoying.

But do you want to know what I find most annoying? Well it's not having no idea where I am and no way of finding out where. Its not that I can't move.

It's that the same dam thing that's been repeating itself ever since I got here. Flash. Spin spin spin …flash spin spin spin ….oh god I'm going to hurl.

Oh, why me.

"SLAM"

Oh god oh god oh god, bring the spinning back!

"OW ow ow stupid sudden stops" the ground is so hard it feels like it broke my head.

Well guess I should check the damage. I feel my head ohh nice bump ow don't pull my hair you- wait "what the?" I slowly put my hands in front of my face and take a Look "FREAKING HOLY HELL!?!?!" I scrambled back until I hit something rough probably a tree but that was not what I was thinking at the time,

no I was thinking about the _mouths_ that were my hands no not the ones I drew with eyeliner for the party real freaking mouths .

O k no needs to panic just take a deep breath assess the situation think about it and pick the best course of action. 

Yeah right, 

Time for plan B

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!"

After numerous attempts to get the mouths off her hands she had finally noticed her surroundings and decided that finding out where she was would be a better way to spend her time. 

* * *

I was now walking down a very long very annoying road. 

I was holding my hands out in front of me awkwardly so they couldn't touch me. yeah like it being attached to me isn't touching me.

But being illogical aside, it made me feel a little better.

The aforementioned road was seemingly never ending I had been walking for hours and the road didn't lead to anything it wasn't even a proper road it was more like a trail with wheel marks and foot steps in the dusty earth.

But because it had wheel and foot prints was the reason I was still walking it because that meant people travel it so it must lead somewhere.

Even though it seemed like it just keeps going on to the horizon. 

So I'm going to keep walking until I find some civilization or faint from exhaustion.

Whichever comes first.


	4. Anna

**Disclaimer I do not own Naruto**

Anna POV

"If someone dos not stop this inane spinning now I will hunt them down and make them hurt"

Yes, growling threats will make them stop.

"Whoa" I stumbled back as the, whatever it was came to a stop. I guess threats do work

I regained my balance and scanned the area. What the? I know this place but that's impossible there's no way I could've come here. I don't now what took me from Chase and Chris's home but there's no F-in way it brought me to the _uchiha_ district.

Ok keep your cool there's got to be a logical explanation to all this.

Alright how do you explain this? Asked a rather cynical part of my brain. drugs I shot back someone put drugs in the bag of chips I was eating I knew they tasted funny I should of stopped eating them when Chase said she got them from a bargain store you have no idea what someone could put in there.

Ok so I was probably stretching it a bit but that's the solution I came up with (and being in a drug induced Illusion is certainly a lot better then going crazy) and I was watching Naruto at the time so its only logical that I dream about the something related to it.

Yep it all fit.

"_shook_" In a instant of that realization a large knife that I recognized as a kunai whizzed past me cutting a thin slice from my cheek drawing a thread of white hot pain that seemed to shoot all the way around my head, before the knife hit the ground and imbedded itself all the way up to its hilt in front of me.

Even though I "knew" it wasn't real I jumped to the side screaming "bloody hell!"

Have you ever not screamed when a freaking _kunai _was throw at you elusion or not?

I stared down at the knife until I realized that someone had to have thrown it.

At which point I spun around to see who my attacker was.

Only to be greeted with nothing.

Absolutely nothing. As in all I cloud is black. As though I had gone blind, or someone had put a cloth over my eyes. I tried to pull off the cloth, but my arms wouldn't budge what the hell?

Great so someone in my own Illusion was kidnapping me, it was most likely the same person who threw the knife too.

I should just stand still for now and think of how I can get out of here, what stopped that inane spinning?

Oh, yeah now I remember, growled threats did the trick pretty nicely.

"YO, whatever pansy assed jerk-wad tied me up I suggest that they let me go now or I gunna make sure that they cough up shoe leather for at lest a week."

However the answer I got to this was not what I had been hoping for. You see I got a gag.

Oh when I get my hands on this guy so help me I'm gunna. Just then two strong hands grabbed me around my middle picked me up and, as far as I could tell started to fly.

"Poff mff moff, moof muffmy mufer!!!" I was ignored, unless you count flying faster a response.

I was rethinking the situation that perhaps I was not actually drugged. For one thing the pain I suffered from the kunai seem too real. Two there wasn't any purple elephant offering me a cheeseburger.

However I would not allow myself to panic I would find out what was happening and get out of here.

There was a sudden stop and I could hear a door being opened and I was roughly thrown into what I assume is a room. My back made contact with what feels like concrete and I let out a growl for the benefit of the jerk-wad that threw me and then proceeded to plan my escape from this weird discount chip's world.

**The hokage tower **

**Tsunade was completely irritated, she had been wrestling with a mountain of paperwork the entire afternoon and when she had taken just a five minute sake break to calm her frayed nerves her pink haired apprentice had come banging in complaining about how much of a idiot Naruto was being again and that he and that Sai kid were in another fight. **

**You'd think that being the hokage would immune you from having to break up playground scuffles.**

**Shortly after Sakura had finished `the two boys that the pink` girl had been complaining about also came rushing in, now any hope of getting back to her sake without having to do anything was shattered.**

"**Granma Tsunade! Tell Sai he's an idiot!!"**

"**Naruto! Don't you talk to lady Tsunade like that?"**

"**You tell him, homely"**

"**Don't you call me homely!!?" **

**There were two loud smacks as Sakura hit both of the boys on the back of the head.**

**The boys rubbed their heads as Sakura cracked her knuckles threateningly.**

**She had had it they just waltz in like they own the place and make such a ruckus? **

**Well she could be loud too. "SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU"**

**all Three head's slowly tuned in her direction, heh, heh, she still got it.**

**But before she could start lecturing them (something she had found incredibly enjoyable after becoming hokage.) a black clad Anbu appeared in a swirl of smoke.**

"**Lord Hokage there was a village breach on the west side in the uchiha district. However we only found one individual." As the Anbu seemed not to want to explain any further she asked the obvious "well? Have you got an I.D. on him?" **

"**We haven't got a confirmation on the identity of the invader yet but she has the same Chakra as one Sasuke Uchiha." **

**She could almost hear three bodies' tensing and thought that perhaps it would have been better if she didn't ask the Anbu to continue his report with team seven in the room.**


	5. Chris

**Disclaimer I do not own Naruto**

Chris POV

What the hell, one moment I'm Watching Naruto talking about how Orochimaru is SO gay, and then a flash. Jeez I probably got Knocked out by my sister because she was mad at something Sakura did, that ditz.

there was a sensation of being thrown and a loud "WHAM" and I made impact with a hard smooth surface I could feel my arm and leg hanging over the edge great now she probably threw me on the table so I'd be out of the way " thanks a lot Chase you do realize I'll have to kick your a- what the?"

as I was finishing my sentence I had opened my eyes to see a enormous waterfall only enhanced by the fact that that I was looking down at it over the ledge that I was currently lying half on half off.

I let out a_ "_manly_"_ "yell" of _"_surprise_" before scrambling a safe distance from the edge. _

_I jumped to my feet on top of what seemed to be a giant statue, facing another statue, and you'll never guess what the statue was of. _

_The first freaking hokage._

_What the hell, who in their right mind makes a hundred foot tall monument to some one who doesn't exist?_

_Cult crazies that's who, they probably worship it twice a day and have wild ninja parties and control the whole government behind the backs of the people. Hmm I wonder if they have a opening._

_Damn I'm too ADHD, concentrate, first I have to get down from here, then I can join the cool ninja cult._

_I slowly walked over to the edge I looked down and got a horrible sense of vertigo and quickly stepped back. I had seen no way of getting down that side other then jumping into the waterfall below._

_so I went around in a circle Intel I had seen all of its sides and decided that climbing down the statue's hair would be the best Course of action._

_I sat down and tried to remember all the moves I had learned, I had taken rock climbing lessons and was pretty good if I do say so myself but that was with a harness, no were near as high and there was always someone watching me and helping me out. I leaned to the side to take another look at the drop that would come with me making a mistake and began debating that perhaps I could just wait for someone to come and find me, but then I remembered my sister, and Anna, and Alex, I don't now how I got here but whoever took me could have quiet possible taken them too, and there was no way that I was going to sit here and do nothing while they were most likely stranded out somewhere as well._

_and if I knew my sister like I do she would be doing her best to find me and our friends._

_And there was absolutely no way in hell I was going to let her outdo me._

_I stood up took off my Tobi jacket, mask, fake armor, and shoes bundled them up and threw them over the edge to where I hope to come down. I was now only wearing my black t-shirt and pants so it would be easier to climb, and started the descent, and what I was sure would be the most terrifying chapter in my life._

_So far. _


	6. Alex: running out on the bill

Alex POV

"Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man?

Do you know the muffin man who lives on dreary lane?"

I had been walking for what felt like hours and hours and so I thought 'what better way to pass the time then sing?' I had so far song all the rock songs that I know and moved on to nursery rhymes.

As I was about to start 'Mary had a little lamb' heard what sounded like a door being slammed open and pale light and soft chatter flooded the fog infested air. There was a loud mans yell of "and stay out" somewhere from my left and just as I turned to the voice something that made me think of a cannonball hurtled out of the fog and right at me.

I squeaked and dived out of the way while the cannonball hit a tree and let out a rather indignant groan.

Hmm, cannonball seems to be made out of a person. Huzah! My quest has been accomplished! Cannonball-person must have been bum rushed out of some sort of eatery or something, and eatery's mean food and people!

I glanced at the person, it was a he, and he was still awake but he didn't seem to notice me, and he stank of alcohol and smoke. No wonder they threw him out.

Well, they most likely had a phone, I was really hungry so I could call my mom tell her where I was and while I waited for her to pick me up I could sit down and have a nice dinner, and then once I get back home I can think about how I got here.

Perfect plan and I'm sure that if the other's landed here as well then they've probably figured a way back now too.

I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out my duct taped wallet and opened it, the money was wet from my fight with the puddle and was starting to mush together into an inky-runny-ball some of it was salvageable though.

I stuffed the wallet back in my pocket and walked to the unknown eatery.

Though as I passed the drunk man I thought a bit more of what I knew of the place I was about to enter,

I reached into my bag and pulled out my pocket knife and placed it up the sleeve of my jacket.

Just incase.

I continued my walk, the fog parted way so I could see an old run down shack, with dim blue light's glowing from the windows. It had old tattered fishing net hanging on the wall with plastic causations woven into it.

I nodded to the dull red crab as I passed it and pulled open the screen door before I pushed open a heavy wooden door the voices I heard before came again with more laughter, once I opened the door all the way there seemed to be some unspoken signal and everything went dead silent

I felt very much like a hero in a old western film who just walked into the saloon that the leader of the cattle rustling gang owned, I could feel all eyes watching me carefully and there was quite the customers there mostly had their faces covered like mine and large coats and at lest three others with blue dyed hair.

I scanned the room for an open table hopefully one near the door but the only table free was near the very back and from the smell what I assume to be the restroom. Ugh, icky.

I made an effort to appear confident. I had read somewhere that if someone looks like they knew what they were doing they where less likely to be questioned what they were doing even if they had absolutely no idea what hey were supposed to do, I didn't know if it was true or if it even applied to this situation but I thought that maybe now would be a good a time as any to try it out.

As I strode across the room I was the picture of I-don't-want-to-start-a-fight-but-you-better-not-mess-with-me-cus-I-know-where-you-live-and-what-you're-deathly-allergic-to. At lest I was trying to go for that but it's a very complicated look to pull off and they were still watching every move I made, and it was rather unnerving.

I fiddled with the wood of my pocket knife as I finally sat down at the table I had spotted, I didn't like the idea of asking for a phone with everyone looking at me so I would wait for the waitress to come take my order and hopefully they would be done looking at me by then.

It took a while but eventually the noise level increased and I felt the many gazes leave my back, and the waitress, a woman that seemed to be in her late twenties with brilliant green eyes came bustling up, notebook and menu in hand.

After she placed the menu in front of me she smiled and said "eve'nin dear, what can I get ya ta drink?"

"What do you got?" I asked happily.

She seemed to size me up for a moment and then said "for you dear, milk."

Well the place did seem to have bar, I wasn't drinking age and I doubt I looked like it ether.

So I smiled at the lady (but she probably didn't notice because of the scarf) and asked

"do you have it in chocolate?"

"Coming right up" she said and bustled off to another table.

While I was speaking with the waitress the noise level had gone up to at lest eleven, I stole a glance at the bar section to see a man with dark brown hair drinking quite a bit of alcohol while several others were cheering him on.

I turned back to the table and picked up the menu just as I remembered that I was suppose to ask the waitress if I could use the phone.

I smacked the menu to my head a few times but thankfully no one noticed because of the drunk guy at the bar. Oh well, I can just ask when she come with my drink. I opened the menu and saw that it was all in a different language. Great. just great.

The waitress had no accent and she didn't even start out talking to me in a deferent language so unless it was incredibly obvious that I spoke English then I was still in my country.

I looked at the writing more closely, it seemed to be katakana or kanji or something, I briefly looked at all the other patrons, the face masks and blue hair and the- Aha! this was a anime bar!.

was there even such a thing as a anime bar? However before I could continue that line of thought the waitress came back carrying my chocolate milk.

She placed the glass in front of me and asked what I would like to order, I replied ramen, if this was a anime bar there was no way they wouldn't have ramen.

She said "come'in right up" took my menu and disappeared again.

I sipped my chocolate milk and tired to figure out all the strange things that have happened recently.

It was probably ten minutes later when a big steaming bowl of ramen was placed in front of me.

My mouth started watering and I picked up the chopsticks that were beside the bowl and dug in.

Half way through my meal, the brown haired man who had been drinking a lot was making a grand departure by trying to steal the bartenders apron, which he succeeded in and then ran out the door like a lunatic. The bartender who had chased him to the door just looked after him glared slammed the door and returned to behind the bar opened a drawer pulled out a new apron and put it on.

two rather menacing gentlemen that had on black coats with some sort of red pattern on it, I can't really see. Got up a few moments later.

I finished my food and was licking some broth off my fingers when I remembered that I hadn't gotten off the blue makeup yet.

I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom, it really wasn't that bad. the sink was clean and thee was a high curtained window next to the toilet that didn't seem to dirty but I had no desire to investigate

I moved to the sink and rolled up my sleeves and rubbed the soap that I found, up my arm and then rinsed it off.

After repeating this four times with no results I stopped turned off the water and contemplated whether I mistakenly used the hair dye on my skin as well as my hair, just as I came to the conclusion that no there defiantly wasn't enough of the dye for me to have put on both my skin and my hair, I heard two pairs of footsteps coming closer.

"I know ya said that the last kids in here ran out on their bill but not all of them are the same, I'm sure she'll pay you the ryo." hey, I know that voice it's the waitress.

"maybe but all I know is that the last time any kids were in here was the last time that I had to give up a months pay! Now if you wanna volunteer to pay this ones bill if she doesn't have the ryo then be my guest, but if not fetch me my persuade'en knife!" ohh, this guy doesn't sound very nice whoever he's talking about is isn't gonna have a very fun time.

"Oh, do you really need the persuade'en knife? Can't ya just ask her first?" she sounded sort of pleading now.

"Yes I need my persuade'en knife! Now go get it while I stay here and make sure she doesn't get out without paying"

"but she seems nice enough, why can't ya just see if she'll pay first?"

"seems nice enough? Is that what you call it when someone has there face covered?"

"she could be horribly disfigured and this is the only way she can go out In public without getting screamed at and prejudiced on."

" what on earth are you talking about? quit your day dream' in and get me my knife."

I heard soft footsteps retreating.

Well that's not good sign.

I have a sinking feeling that they were talking about me, and I certainly didn't have any ryo though of course with this being a anime bar and all it could just be their word for money, but I didn't feel like taking any chances when the 'persuade'en knife' is involved. So I decided to escape.

I silently made my way over to the window and lifted the curtain to the side only to discover that it was boarded up.

Oh, goody, goody gumdrops.

I slipped my fingers in between the two boards and tried to pull it out of the way.

The fist one was actually pretty loose and didn't take more then one good yank for it to fall quietly into my arms. (I saw that the reason it was boarded up was because it didn't have any glass, good for me) The second one however was not so nice to me. I had tried and failed to dislodged it four times before I heard footsteps again, and thinking that the waitress's had returned with the persude'en knife and wondering how long I could be in here before they decided to check up on me, I did something that probably wasn't very smart, I hooked my fingers over the top of the board and lifted my feet off the ground, so my entire weight was on that one, annoying, piece of wood.

"CRACK SNAP" went the wood, and "CRASH SMACK" went me, as soon as I hit the ground I scrambled back up. The sounds of loud shouts and fists banging on the bathroom door motivated me to start moving in high gear and throw my bag through the newly uncovered hole in the wall and pull myself up after it.

The window was only so big so instead being able to turn around and dropping to the ground feet first,

I had to go head fist, of course I only noticed this once I had pushed myself all the way out the other side.

oh but it was okay because there was a open garbage can right under me, acting as a nice cushion for my head.

The garbage can fell over and deposited me, spluttering on a earth floor.

After some coughing and trying to get some mystery gunk off my shoulder I stood up to see I was not alone.

Standing a little ways down the side of the building from me were three people I recognized, one of which was bleeding, and being held up against the wall by a very blue hand that was clamped over his throat.

The second, was the owner of the hand and was equally as blue.

The third had black hair and red eyes.

Yep, I was staring at Kisame Itachi and drunken apron stealer.

I openly stared at them, and they stared back. it sort of seemed like they were beating up on drunken apron stealer I wasn't sure why, and was about to ask but then there was a shout of "GET BACK HERE YOU DAMN KID!!" and from around the corner came running a burly, crazy eyed, chef hat wearing man that was holding a very long and sharp looking knife that had written on its side in bright red letters

'the persuader'

I did the only logical thing that came to mind. Run

~*~

"Itachi do you think that was the spy that's been following us?" I said as I slashed a kunai across the throat of the target.

"Hn."

"Better safe then sorry though, right?" Itachi wouldn't say no, he was a stick in the mud most of the time but he didn't care what I did as long as it didn't involve him or the mission

"Hn"

"oh, I hope this one puts up more of a fight then the last one" I showed my teeth in a big sharky grin, sahamada hadn't been out to play in ages and I couldn't wait to slice its playmate into beautiful red ribbons.

With those wonderful thoughts I dashed off in the direction that the girl had run.

~*~

Someone was chasing me.

I knew it wasn't the chef, I had lost him five turns ago. But who else would want to chase me?

the answer came a moment later when I tried to leap over a log, but my scarf having been jostled from me running was no longer covering my face but hanging at level with my feet so when I put my foot down my scarf got pinned to the ground and when I lifted my other foot to step over the log I ended up pulling on my scarf. Which would have been fine had its other end not still been wrapped tightly around my neck.

I came crashing down to earth rolling in to a puddle.

I lifted my head just in time to see a dark, incredibly tall looming figure step out of the fog and rise a incredibly huge sword above its head in preparation to strike. . I stared, scared as hell up at the person I was sure was going to kill me, only to hear the most unbelievably thing that's happened to me today.

The Kisame, not a cosplayer, or a freaky person that just happens to look like him, the real thing. Looked down at me first in delight at what I think was slicing me up, but then in confusion and then surprised, and then he said something that made me question if what all the people at school said was right and I really was crazy, nah cant be there's no way I'm crazy. yeah I mean if we were crazy would we question if we were? Nope defiantly not. not at all.

But, those words were

"A-Asami? baby sister?" and that is when I fainted.


	7. i hate logical ninja

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

Anna's P.O.V.

"prisoner 10305 you are to be brought in front of the hokage now. Any attempt at escape will be met with your immediate execution. Be respectful to the hokage, and do not speak unless spoken to"

I looked up in the direction of where I thought the guard was did he just say hokage?, I still hadn't managed to get the blindfold off despite being stuck in this room for what felt like over a hour.

I was picked up roughly by the arm and hauled into a standing position and the strangest sensation overcame me it was sort of like being a cloud, but a really fast, and jumpy cloud. There was a soft "poof" and I was standing again, swaying slightly and feeling a bit nauseous from the sudden stop.

A female voice said "remove the blindfold please." and a bright light flooded my vision. I clamped my eyes shut instinctively and tried to lift my hands in front of my face but of course I was still tied up so I fell to my knees and almost hit my head against a expensive looking desk.

I was now severely irritated, I turned my head upward so I could glare with all my might at whoever the hell was sitting at the desk.

if my long life of seventeen years had taught me anything it was that people who irritated me usually sat at desks.

I wasn't really expecting a blonde twenty-something to be behind my abduction. But what the hey, it's a free country.

"you are accused of crimes against a hidden village. ether declare your place of origin or be tried as a individual" what the hell is she talking about? What the hell did she mean 'crimes against a hidden village'!?! "of course if you were to be tried as a individual there would be no negotiations with others and therefore a quicker trial"

trial? I didn't even do anything! "you have the right to remain silent however I don't think you'll be inclined to after a while of our special 'treatment' for those like yourself who decide too betray our village."

There was a pit forming in my stomach the sort of pit that I got when I get into real trouble with no idea how to get out. So I did what I normally did in these kinds of situations.

"now do you see how cruel the life of a traitor ca-" I made things worse. " WHAT IN THE SIXHUNDRED AND SIXTYSIX HELLS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!" I screamed.

"DON'T YOU MESS WITH ME UCHIHA! JUST GIVE ME ONE EXCUSE! ONE! AND I'LL EXACUTE YOU ON THE SPOT!!" the lady yelled back in increasing volume, as she stood up from her seat and towered over me. I got up from my knees into a standing position as well and was quite smug to see I was more then a inch taller then her. and yelled back even louder. "WHO IN HADES ARE YOU CALL'IN A UCHIHA, YOU DIRT WORM!!" "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU DEGENERATE BRAT??" "I CALLED YOU A DIRT WORM YOU NINGCOMPOOP OR IS YOUR HEARING AS BAD AS YOUR FACE LOOKS?" "YOU DAMN KID! ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU THEY'LL BE ABLE TO CARRY WHATS LEFT OF YOU BACK TO YOUR MOTHER IN A SHOE BOX! YOU FU- " "LADY TSUNADE!" we both snapped our heads in the direction of a woman that I had not until now noticed. She was oddly enough holding a pig in her arms. OH GOD she was HOLDING A PIG, oh lord there was absolutely no hope for me at all was there? "lady Tsunade!" she repeated. "you need to calm down!"

Lady Tsunade? She can't possibly be meaning what I think she's meaning. how much weirder can this get? I suppose she does look like Tsunade, she certainly acted like her. 'Tsunade' stayed standing but spoke much quieter then before as we continued our glaring contest. "uchiha tell me everything you know about Orochimaru and maybe I'll let you live out the rest of your pathetic life in prison" a sudden realization hit me just then I was still wearing my stupid Sasuke chunin exam costume that Chase made me wear to come to the party.

Now if I was even going to consider the impossibility that I had somehow gotten in the story 'Naruto' it would be a very, very bad thing to look like any uchiha, lest of all Sasuke while in the hidden leaf village.

I was half expecting Naruto himself to jump out from somewhere punch me in the face and call me a mean name. I opened my mouth and closed it. Opened it again and decided to state what I really hoped was obvious. "I'm a girl." there was silence for a while. "from what I understand all the living uchiha's are boys." I said after it became apparent that no one else was going to say anything. There was still silence reigning and I started to feel very angry.

"you really thought I was a boy? What the hell is your problem?! Are you blind?" how on earth could they have ever mistaken me for an uchiha? I don't look that much like a uchiha or a boy! Sure I have short black hair that I stuck up in the black and my eyes are a dark color that could be mistaken for black, but that's it!

"Anbu rat fetch Kakashi" she said and the guy who brought me here disappeared. But before I could wonder how he could just disappear Tsunade spoke again "I have no idea why you think using a genjutsu on yourself to look like a girl would fool us. You must be incredibly stupid to not even change how you look. As soon as Kakashi gets here he'll use his sharingan and no matter how powerful your genjutsu is he'll see right through it and then you will be interrogated and executed" HA YES Kakashi will see I'm not Sasuke, and then I can actually talk to these creepy people and find out what the hell is going on!

A few tense minutes later there was a soft knock at the door (which I didn't have the pleasure of using) and "you wanted to see me hokage?" said a familiar voice, and then the owner of that voice saw me and the temperature dropped a few degrees "Sasuke" was then growled out with venom. So then just to be contrary with his mood I gave a big smile and said as cheerfully as I could "guten tag Kakashi" and the face he made almost made this whole ordeal worth while. Even though I really wanted to I thought that breaking out into hysteria might not go over so well with everyone else in the room.

"lady Hokage?" said Kakashi questioningly

"Kakashi would you be so kind as to use your sharingan to see through the genjutsu Sasuke is under?" said Tsunade. Kakashi nodded, lifted his headband, glared at me for a bit, covered his eye again and said gravely "there is no genjutsu"

"I told you I wasn't Sasuke, for Thors sake I'm not even a ninja!" I said

"what do you mean your not a ninja?" said Tsunade. Finally they were listening I thought exasperated.

"as in ' I'm not a ninja'" I reiterated.

"Then why do you have such a large amount of chakra?" she said eyes narrowed.

"well, seeing as I'm not ninja I would have no knowledge on how this 'chakra' works and therefore no idea" ok so now I was being a smart mouth but this lady deserves it for being such a idiot. And from what I understand from the explanation you get on how chakra works from Sakura then any non-ninja person can have a bunch of chakra if they study and work out a lot.

"I see" she said glaring.

"so what? You gonna let me go now that you've seen what a big mistake you made?" I doubt they would seeing as they are a big military village and I did pretty much pop out of nowhere into their village past all of their security, but there's no harm in trying. Heck maybe they'd even give me a place to stay free of charge and then start teaching me ninjutsu if I asked real nicely.

Yeah, and Itachi won best son of the year award.

"rat, please escort the prisoner back to her cell while we decide what to do with her."

I thought so. Damn logical ninja.

~*~

The hokage tower.

"If that is Sasuke he's not sane" I said simply.

"I think we can safely rule out the possibility that Sasuke had a sex change operation as well" said Tsunade rubbing the bridge of her nose, most likely to ward off a oncoming headache.

"what she said about not being a ninja, you think its true?" I said closing my eyes, the sensory type ninja that found her had said her chakra was the same as Sasuke's, but it wasn't, sure it was incredibly close to it and had I not had the sharingan I would have thought so to but it was defiantly not his. But it was close enough to unleash all sorts of ninjutsu attacks he was capable of.

"I've no idea Kakashi" she sighed "its been head of before about civilians having just as much chakra as ninja and deciding not to use it. but in that quantity? And at her age? And the fact that she appeared out of nowhere into the uchiha district and wearing traditional uchiha garb, but she seemed to be rather insulted when I called her uchiha."

"it does seem to be the quiet puzzle" I said

"I need some sake" she remarked offhandedly.

"I think we'll need her cooperation for this though, the quickest way to get answers would be from her."

"I take that as volunteering to talk to her, thanks so much Kakashi that's really a load off my back!" she was smiling a devils smile and I realized a second to late what she said.

"what? No lady Tsunade I was just saying-" I tried to protest.

"yep I'm deeply thankful to you!. I'll pencil you in for the earliest visiting hours I can get you." she said happily, it seemed as if she couldn't get her alcohol she'd have to settle for my suffering.

"oh, and Kakashi?"

"yes lady hokage?"

"don't be late"

Sometimes I wondered how life would be as a missing-nin.


	8. tobi finds a girl!

this is a place called fanfiction net not masashi kishimotoes wonderful world of whimsy and fancy. In other words I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

It really did seem like fainting would come first.

I'm walking more like a zombie, shuffling my feet with my hands still held out in front of me.

Damn hands. I've been looking down at my feet making sure they wouldn't stop moving on there own accord.

The moon was high up in the sky and it was illuminating the same path I've been walking for I-don't-know-how-long. There were lots of rocks last time I found the energy to look up and I'm pretty sure it hasn't changed yet. Oh, GOD I'm so tired, god if you love me could you please, please help me find a bed?

"Smack"

"ow" I bumped into something. I looked up hoping beyond hope that it was a house please oh lord let it be a old abandoned house with a nice feather bed! I looked up to see the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. There in front of me was a king size bed with at lest five big fluffy pillows, there was even a holy light beaming down on it from above. I started moving toward it as fast as my sleep deprived body could go.

Oh, thank you God! Thank you! I'll go to church every day from now on I swear! Oh thank yo-

"SMACK"

"OW" my hands went instinctively to my nose, and then my hand bit my nose.

"OUCH" I thrashed a round a bit, but I was so tired I stopped a second later and looked and saw the bed, it was two-dimensional. I stood up and examined it more closely.

"it's a poster" I fell back to my knees not sure whether to laugh or cry. So I did both.

"haha' you got me! 'Ha' I thought it was a bed 'sob' but its just 'wheeze' its just a advertisement! 'HAHA"

I was clutching my sides, I know I'm having a break down but I don't really care.

"oh man that was a good one! I mean first you take me away from my home and my friends 'sob' and then you give me these wacko hands 'hehe' and then you have me think I'm about to get what I want and then you go WHAM its not real! 'ha-sob-ha' oh you are sadistic! whoever you are up there!" I feel the ground next to me until my fingers came in contact with a pebble and I hurl it as hard as I can at the wall with the poster on it.

It ricocheted off the wall and to somewhere behind me and hit something that growled.

My head snapped back, and I see a mass of what looks like garbage, and then it starts uttering oaths and moving. I briefly wondered how a pebble could wake up this thing when all my yelling hadn't.

"why I otta take you for a beating for waking me up you damned brat"

I scramble against the bed poster wall, as it started talking, I scream all of Anna's favorite curses in my head as I realized it was a hobo I'm next to.

Its not like I'm some rich snooty dude who couldn't possibly talk to someone like a hobo, its just that when I was little there was hobo living in our neighborhood and my mom being the good mom she was thought the best way to keep me safe was with fear. So she told me and my brother stories about little kids not listening to their mother and going out after dark and getting caught by the hobo.

So even though I now know that hobos aren't scary childnappers that could beat up a troll and take his house under a bridge, my first reaction is to get as far away from him as I can and put my arms up to shield myself. Which I did.

"what's your problem brat? Cat got your tongue?" he let out a little chuckle at this and looked up at me, gray eyes blinking. "what ya fraid of som'thin brat?" he started to stand up, and me panicking scrambled up too and bringing my hands up in front of my face.

Once I saw the look on his face however I knew I made a mistake. though I wasn't certain on what the mistake was.

"you're a part of that family then are you? You people make me sick alow'en your self's to become weapons! Just so yer pathetic self's can go to war and make a name! they were right to put you all on trial, you must be one of em that got out by act'en all innocent and bribe'en the council!" he was coming toward me now glaring and growling, oh, god this guy must be crazy! What the heck is he talking about?

"I'll be doing the world a favor if I got rid of one of you. Monsters every one."

that's it. I'm out.

I threw my atkatsuki cloak I made with my grandma in his face turned and sprinted as fast as I could away.

I was still very tired but a crazy bum talking about getting rid of you would be doing the world a favor wakes you up very fast.

I look up now and see a town in the distance. Yes! Safety! I start running even faster, and then faster still when I hear the bum chasing after me. I looked over my shoulder and saw the hobo a few feet behind me, I took the ninja head band I bought a year ago at a convention and threw that at him to.

"SMACK"

"I'LL KILL YOU" came a roar from behind.

Oh' God now he's just madder! So I proceeded to look for any other things I could throw, I unzipped and then reached my hands into my two fanny packs, I felt around while keeping my eyes in front of me, my right hand came in contact with a firm sorta gooey substins which I deftly placed as clay in my head, and started gnawing like mad at it. I got the taste of clay in the back of my throat and I almost fell over when I felt the inside of my hand chew.

It was like a bolt of lighting struck me, if I had Deidara's hands then did that mean I could use them to blow stuff up like him? I shoved my left hand in the clay as well, let it chew for a minute, then spun around faced the hobo and lifted my hands at him like I was aiming two shotguns that were attached to my arms (which would be pretty damn cool) my hands spit out two perfectly shaped spiders, which promptly fell to the ground and didn't move.

"Katsu" I yelled making what I think is the appropriate hand sign.

Nothing happened.

The hobo who had stopped when I turned around, grinned at me, so I spun around again and ran.

Damn it! If these damn hands get me in all this trouble the lest they can do is help get me out of it!

I went back to the throwing tactic and lobbed a rock that was in my pocket, my shoes which were a bit too big for me anyway, and my hair tie. He threw curses and insults back at me.

As you can tell I'm getting a bit desperate.

I was five feet away from the town when out of nowhere a rock with a extremely sharp edge appeared right where a second later my now bare foot fell, I brought my foot up while my other foot was still in the air and started falling to the side of the road I saw a slop in the direction I was falling. A rather steep and rocky slop.

I try to stop or turn to the other side but I'm going full force in my run and I have to much momentum, so as I'm going over the tip of the hill I do my best to cover my head and tuck in my legs.

after some time of bouncing, rolling, smashing, hitting, and cursing, I finally come to a stop.

Its hard to breath, I'm sore all over, my foot's cut and I'm probably cut up more then that and I think I'm lying in a bush. I move my arms from my head and put them on the ground to push myself up but stop as soon as I hear a pair of voices. I stop moving and calmed my breathing as much as I can.

"what the hell happened? Why has everyone been called to patrol?" one of the voices said it sounded like a girl.

"The alarm sounded and that old drunk by that mattress store says he saw 'one of those damn lab rats with the mouth's" this time it was a guy speaking. I couldn't hear them walking but their voices sounded like they were five feet away from me and they weren't moving anymore.

"What? You Mean One of THAT Family?" said the girl loudly.

"quiet, or the jonin will hear you and we'll get yelled at!" said the guy harshly.

"sorry, but do you really think one of them could've gone AWOL? I mean its happened before but he was a bit crazy- oh my god do you think he came back?" said the girl she sounded panicky now.

" no way," said the guy simply" if it was him he would've killed the drunk, and blown us up by now"

"tch, well at lest you're looking on the bright side of things" said the girl sardonically. "and anyway can't we just get ms. Fumi to use her nifty sensor jutsu and be over with it? Or get the nin dogs to get their sent if its one of them from the capital?"

"the jonin have already concluded that its not any of them from the capital, their all accounted for and the two that are out on missions are being watched by their teammates, and as for ms. Fumi's jutsu, she doesn't know what his chakra signature looks like or even what type to look for"

"earth type! You idiot!"

"we're in 'rock' country! As in 'dirt' as in 'earth' as in 'earth type' is what most everybody has!" said the guy in irritation.

"shut up! I knew that!" said the girl

"lets hurry up and report back that this area is clear or we'll get yelled at for being slow" said the guy

"god, you're such a goody two shoes, we're gonna be searching all night anyway we might as well get a break in at some point" said the girl, and soon I couldn't hear them anymore.

I didn't really understand much of what they just said but some things had gotten though, they were looking for someone most likely me whoever they were they were going to look for a long time and they already looked where I was and didn't find me. I thought things through and after much thought decided it would be safer if I just stayed where I was for now and worry about things later.

* * *

"look what Tobi found! Look what Tobi found!"

"shut the hell up Tobi or I'll make you shut up, yeah!"

"but Tobi found what you're looking for! Because Tobi's a good boy!"

"and what would that be? Cus I swear, Tobi if its another bird I'm gonna dress you up like me and boot you over the village wall instead of sending another clone, yeah."

Uhh, too loud why can't they be quiet, I'm sleeping.

"No! No, Tobi found what Deidara sempai was looking for! Tobi found a girl!"

"What! Why Didn't You Say Something, Yeah!"

Uhhh. Now their louder, why would Deidara be looking for a girl anyway.

"Look At Her!, Those Basterds Just Threw Her Down A Ditch And Left Her For Dead! Their Not Even Pretending To Use Real Justice Anymore, Yeah!"

"don't worry Deidara sempai! Tobi can save her! Tobi has a first-aid kit that he got from Zetsu! Tobi can fix up the girl!"

"pick her up Tobi, lets get out of here before the bomb go's off"

Thank god their leaving. Mmh its very comfy here all nice and warm almost like someone's carrying me. Not like the hard ground I was lying on. It feels safe. Though it most likely isn't. oh well its fine for now. Now back to sweet, sweet oblivion.


	9. city on fire

Attention all! Let it be known that my brother (A.K.A the person Chris was based off of) helped me write this chapter (and by 'helped me write' I mean came up to the computer while I was writing laughed his ass off and put down a few paragraphs and walked away) and has also been the one who go's though and makes sure I have good grammar, and if you find I don't have good grammar please tell me so I can yell at him.

Just kidding, I'll only poke him a few times.

Any way I'd like to thank you all for reviewing and reading this far, and seeing as the next chapter is in the double digits I'm going to 'attempt' to do a super cool very long chapter. I'm currently thinking of it being Alex's chapter but I'm open to suggestions.

I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

I was glaring at my feet, mainly because I was pissed. I had climbed all the way down that terrifyingly tall statue, and had been walking for a hour. In that time I had concluded that I was in the 'Narutoverse'. how I found this out was a by gang of people tree hopping past me on the road I was walking and that, combined with the two statues had convinced me.

I wasn't mad that I was in the Naruto world, in fact I always thought it was way cooler then the real world. the problem was there was no one I could talk with about how cool it was and or how we could get revenge on all the characters we hated. by 'we' I meant me and Chase, but I would have been okay with Anna or Alex.

After walking for so long, I had found a sort of market area with a tea shop and some stalls, and was now looking for some place with food

I walked into a shop that smelled of tea and sat down at a table, setting my bundle of stuff which was made up of my Tobi jacket mask and armor that I had decided I shouldn't put back on lest I should be mistaken for someone I'm not, on the bench next to me.

Seven minutes passed and the waitress finally came up to my table, I somehow managed not to glare at her as she introduced herself as 'Misa' and listed off the special of the day and what was in the value page in the menu after handing it to me. What the hell! did I look like I couldn't read? Well I couldn't read what was in the menu it was all in a deferent langue which I had thought it would be, but she didn't know that!

I fought to keep my face passive and said "I will take the ramen" "ohh, good choice, what flavor?" "miso" "ok, I'll be right back, with the Misa-miso special!" she said with a big smile, and skipped off.

I glared at the wood of the table for several minutes until I head rushed footsteps and Misa's voice saying "I'm so sorry it took so long to cook it, it was-Wahhhh!" I looked up just in time to see a steaming bowl of miso ramen hurtling at my face.

I brought up my arms to shield my face and the bowl hit them and bounced over my head, and clattered to the floor behind me. I brought my arms down just in time to see another liquid flying at my face.

"Splash"

Ice cold water was throw into my face, Misa stood with a empty glass in her hand in front of me looking aghast at what she had done.

This time I couldn't stop the hateful glare that that came onto my face, I glared full force at the waitress, thinking of horrible things that could happen to her while laughing evilly in my head then she looked back at me and started screaming her head off, and then collapsed.

My eyes widened as people started standing up and yelling. A women rushed up to the waitress and started screaming at me "what did you just do to her?!"

"I didn't do anything, I swear!" I yelled back at her. I don't know what the hell happened to her but someone must have done it. I twisted around looking throughout the shop for a culprit but there wasn't any obvious suspects. The women was still screaming at me, and it was getting very annoying. I turned to face her and narrowed my eyes, and said "will you Shut Up!"

The women looked up at me and BURST INTO FLAME!??!

"AAEEHHHH"

Oh, god oh, GOD now people are spontaneously combusting! Maybe this wasn't the ninja world, maybe this was just a world where realty didn't apply.

Nahh, same thing.

Quickly getting up and grabbing my armor and mask I ran out the door slipping my mask on as I ran… Wait not the best idea, the mask has one eye hole, not so good for running, and tripping every few steps wouldn't help my escaping from…whatever…..was.. happening. so continuing to run I took my mask off and hid it in one of the many hidden pockets in my costume (OK I got this costume for Halloween first, happy?) and continued to run down the market place glaring at the few who were out and thought it was a good idea to wonder why I was running. they too burst into flame, oh good GOD how can this be happening? I briefly considered that I am the cause of everyone combusting but discarded the idea, I mean how could I possibly do that?

Its ridicules.

* * *

30 minutes later Back at the tea shop.

"well, this didn't turn out as planed" said the idiot that was suppose to be training me, as a screaming villager ran past with a bucket of water.

"tch, really?" of course it hadn't turned out as planed. unless he planned for the tea shop and most of the town to be on fire when we got here, which I wouldn't put past the stupid snake. Since when is going to a tea shop training anyway?

"is there really any need for your attitude right now Sasuke?" said four eyes, As a building collapsed and sparks shot up from the flame that consumed it.

"silence, both of you" said the snake weirdo. "a strong chakra created these fires, in fact it appears to be uchiha chakra" he finished with a smirk on his face.

I was gone, sharingan activated and running full speed through the trial of destruction before my brain finished processing what Orochimaru had said, but when it did, all I could think about was how if it wasn't me who did this then there was only one other uchiha that could have, and just how much I was going to make Itachi hurt.


	10. mmmbread

i know i said i was going to do alexs next and i had half of it typed up but then my brother did some stuff to the computer to get his game to work and it ended up deleting all my photos music and documents, and i really didn't feel like typing it all up again, so you got anna instead. and i would like to thank my friend mimee for going over the story with me it really helped!

**disclaimer i do not own naruto**

I hate this world. And as far as I can tell this world hates me.

Those were my thoughts as I was hauled off to a cold room that was soon filled with my many curses.

I mean why couldn't Tsunade be a ditsy blonde like how she's portrayed in almost every naruto video game I own? She could've been all like "oh no something unordinary has happened! How bout while I figure this out you go ahead and explore the village! Oh and remember your new all expense paid apartment is two doors down from naruto the kiyubi contain- I mean the most normal kid in the village! So go ahead and bug him whenever you need something!" hahhah. Funny stuff. She knew how to cuss though, I suppose I have to give her that. And I know she was just doing her job and if I was her I would've locked me up and thrown away the key if I had talked to me like that, that still doesn't stop me from hating her lily livered, belly itching, bubble gum chewing, guts. In fact, I think I hate them more.

I've been sitting here for a while now, almost falling asleep but do to the tight restraints that were still tied around me, whenever I started to drift off I would move just a bit and then it would cut into my ribs or arms more and effectively wake me up. But I was having fun imagining Tsunades death by tomato thirsty puppet vampire, and let me tell you, that is entertaining.

But alas all good things come to an end, and I was pulled out of my wonderful musings with the sound of the cell door screeching open and a bright light flooding the room. I blinked up blearily at the figure silhouetted against the light coming from the doorway.

"why hello miss uchiha, and how are we doing today?" oh great it's the copy cat, curse of playgrounds world wide.

"shut up you pizza faced scapegoat"

"mmm, now I don't really know what 'pizza' means but seeing as its coming from you I'll take it as a insult" he was smiling. The jerk.

He shut the door behind him and a light on the ceiling tuned on as he sat down on the floor opposite me.

He had a loaf of bread in his hand. Now it wasn't the pre-sliced crap you get from the store that's only good if you have at lest one other thing on it to drown out the taste, this was freshly baked homemade bread, the sort of stuff you tore a whole hunk off of and then eat plain cause it was just as good as it was with butter. Yeah, it was that sort of bread. My stomach gurgled uncomfortably and my mouth started to water as I eyed the bread, when's the last time I ate? I was promised a pizza eating contest at the party so I hadn't had lunch, so I could better beat Chase and laugh at her. How long have I been here? Maybe a couple hours? Twelve? Fifteen? Oh, how the hell would I know? I just want the bread!

"it seems like someone missed breakfast" he saw me looking at the bread. Damn him.

"it seems like someone is a waste of space"

"now that's not a very nice thing to say"

"my apologies I thought we were stating the obvious" he chuckled at that, oh god, my insults aren't even annoying him, how is he doing that? Why is he not having a internal battle trying to stop himself from killing me? Is he even possible?

Haha. He's a freaking ninja and I'm asking if him not being insulted when I insult him is possible.

"would you like some?"

"of what?" for some reason that sounded like a trick question.

"the bread. Though you could wait for the guard to come down and give you the same food everyone else gets, I hear they have wonderful gruel" in response I stuck my hand out.

"say, please" that damn smiling pig dog.

"please" I ground out. Ha handed it to me and I bit a huge chunk out of it and chewed furiously.

"alright kid, you seem nice enough, once you get pass all the name calling and insults, so I'm going to cut you a deal, tell me all about how you got in the village and where you come from and I'll see if I can get you out of here." he was serious. that's not good.

I swallowed the bread and thought through my next words carefully. It wouldn't do any good to tell the truth and have him think I was a lunatic who had somehow gotten into his village, but lying to him wasn't smart ether, I'm sure ninja have a freaky way of telling when someone's lying, and being caught lying to them would be very bad in the long run.

"so, what will it be?" oh, to Hades with it

"I don't suppose you would believe me if I said I came from another world?"

"no, no I wouldn't" he said with a straight face. oh for all that is holy! well so much for that idea I guess I have to use my imagination sometime.

"good cause then you would be even more of a idiot" hmm what should I say? Oh, that's a good one Chase told me once about this idea she had and wondered why Orochimaru never did it! Its perfect!

"look all I know is that I was walking along like I do every day, and then suddenly some dorky four eyes popped out of nowhere and knocked me out. The next thing I know, I'm dressed up like this and getting beaten up by your dumb ass guard!" I finished glaring at him.

"well that is strange. Do you remember anything else? Anything at all?"

"no. can I go now?"

"thank you for cooperating. I have to go now. I'll see what I can do."

"hey you can't just leave! I'm wrongly imprisoned! This is a felony! Come back here you stink pig! You damn pansy! Your mother's a hamster!"

"SLAM" went the door.

"jerk"

* * *

"so, how'd it go?" that was Tsunade talking, I'd know her voice anywhere.

"surprisingly well" that'd be Kakashi, I don't know exactly what he was doing for Tsunade, but my money's on that it something to do with sasuke.

"what'd you learn?" I pressed my ear closer to the wood of the door, this is what I've been waiting for!

"She herself doesn't seem to be any real threat to the village, it seems likely however that Orochimaru is doing something similar to the uchiha clan as he did with the senju" what? She? So their not talking about sasuke? But their talking about Orochimaru I should continue to listen, just in case.

"what, you don't mean like the same thing as Yamoto, do you?" now what's this about captain Yamoto?

"I'm afraid so, but she ate the bread so if she does turn out to be a spy or if Orochimaru put a mind jutsu on her, we'll be able to track her anywhere" wow, a shinobi of Orochimaru was foolish enough to eat some food given by the enemy without examining it thoroughly first? How sad.

"perfect just what I needed another migraine. So Kakashi tell me in your expert opinion what does Orochimaru have to gain by dropping a seemingly successful uchiha power cloning experiment in our laps?" power cloning experiment?

"the word 'diversion' comes to mind, we definitely want to keep this quiet for now" diversion? Does that mean he's planning to attack?

"exactly what I was thinking, Kakas-" I stiffened as the boy next to me let his cloaking jutsu go, "no, naruto don't!" I whispered franticly, if he blew our cover now who knows how much trouble we'll get in to! I made a grab for his arm but I only just brushed his jacket as he stood up and lunged at the door.

"SLAM"

"grahma Tsunade, you better tell me what happened to sasuke right now or I'll tear apart your whole office looking for him!" that IDIOT! I screamed in my head as I ran into the room after him, Once we get out of here I'm gonna smash him through the village wall!

"You really think I'm gonna keep him in my office brat?!?"

"doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does!"

"no it DOSEN'T!"

"YES IT DOES!"

"NO IT DOSE-"

"Naruto, be quiet!" oh thank god, if Kakashi hadn't stepped in they would've gone on forever.

"I'm not gonna be quiet until you tell me where sasuke is!"

"sasuke isn't here naruto if you were listening at all while you were hiding behind that door you would know that."

"so, if sasuke isn't here then who is?"

"good question Sakura" he said smiling. "and the answer is, sasuke's cousin"

"what? Sasuke has a cousin? But this is great! The reason sasuke left was because he didn't have any family left! But now that he does he can come back! Right?"

"its not that easy naruto, we need to keep the existence of another uchiha secret for now you got that?"

"But Why!?"

"don't be an idiot naruto! If people found out about another uchiha they'd be after her just like they were after sasuke!"

"but what about sasuke? He needs to know!"

"Naruto, we'll talk about this later, right now I need to speak with Kakashi, you and Sakura need to go, now!"

"but, grama-"

"naruto leave now and I promise I'll let you meet sasuke's cousin" if we could talk with a cousin of sasuke's then we could find out everything about him, if nothing else we can blackmail him back into the village!

"no wa-" I stomped my heel on to naruto's toes and said "of course lady Tsunade!" I then grabbed naruto by the collar and dragged him out of the office while he yelled about his foot being broken, the big baby, didn't he see what a great opportunity this is?


	11. the farm house

DISCLAIMER I do not own Naruto, Veggie tales, Harry potter, MT Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln, or any other thing I may reference in this story.

A/N sorry for the horrible lateness of my updates, and this one isn't actually another chapter, for I have finally gotten around to fixing this chapter, which had some errors when I uploaded it.

So hopefully this time it will work and if it doesn't I'll just have to try again.

Also I'm going to try and get out the next chapter as soon as I can, and try not to have more then month long gaps between updates anymore.

* * *

"I swear Itachi she won't bug you!"

"Hn"

"yeah? Well, how would you feel if I didn't let you keep your brother with you?"

"Hnn"

"oh come on. You can not keep using that as a excuse! Just because your brother try's to kill you doesn't mean everyone's sibling does the same!"

"Hn"

"that's it! if you don't let me at lest bring her back to the base and talk to leader about it, I'm leaving the Akatsuki!"

"I don't see how that's my problem."

"oh but it is! Leader will yell at you for letting me go, and you'll probably be paired up with Kakuzu and Hiden!"

"Hnnn"

"Ha-hah! I knew it! I got you!"

The door in front of me slid open. "everything's clear Asami! You can come!"

"YAY" I yelled as I ran and hugged the blue shark man in front of me.

"we'll be heading out as soon as I get all of the provisions together, so stay here and I'll be back as soon as possible" he said hugging me back.

"okay!" he smiled again and left the room of the inn that he and Itachi had rented to complete the 'mission'.

Now, I know that my name isn't 'Asami' I also am very certain that I am not Kisame's baby sister that was lost-and-most-likely-dead in the confusion of a raid on one of the mist villages outposts four years ago. But seeing as I had somehow fallen into the 'Naruto-world' I thought that perhaps it would be a good idea to have someone like Kisame on my side rather then wanting to kill me for impersonating his most-likely-dead sister. So I told him I got bumped on the head and can't remember much. That seems to work in all the books I read, so I supposed its was worth a shot, and I think I know enough about Kisame that it wasn't too suspicious, and my friends tell me that I act like I have a head injury sometimes so it shouldn't be that hard to believe.

Kisame seemed to believe the story, Itachi didn't care, at least that's what it sounded like last night when Kisame brought me back here after I fainted and yelled at me for getting lost at the raid, not going back home, and then running from him just now. Needless to say I was sorta confused so I just said sorry over and over again, I did learn however that Kisame likes to hug people, well, just me. He hugged me a lot. Which I guess is natural I mean he thinks I'm his long lost sister that he thought was dead, he might want to hug me, but still Kisame Hoshigaki, scourge of the bloody mist, member of the infamous criminal organization Akatsuki, hugging me? I supose its just something I'll have to get use to.

Kisame also said that we were going back to 'the base' he said that since I got lost when he wasn't there he was gonna bring me along wherever he went so it wouldn't happen again.

I didn't really have a choice on the matter and maybe if I traveled I'd find the other three, I was almost positive that they were here too, why would I be the only one to have come here?

And I get to meet the other Akatsuki, who are as cool as Larry the singing cucumber, and that, my friend is cool.

Seriously, the water buffaloo song is great! Me Chase and Chris sing it all the time! And sometimes we even get Anna to join in too! I wonder if they have veggie tales here, do they even have Christianity? I'm thinking not. What all do they have here? Are there any harry potter fans? Oh. My. God. If there weren't any books like harry potter here we could make a absolute fortune by writing them all again! Of course that would be a major copyright infringement, but then again, do copyrights extend to other worlds? I'll have to find that out. But if they don't As soon as I find the others I have to tell them my idea! Then we can get really rich, and use that money to hire the top sientists to research how we got here and a way back! And while their doing that we can spend the rest of the money on a giant water slide! And chocolate! And a spaceship! And a mounten with our faces on it! We could be mount Rushmore! Or mount leaf Hokage's! And I'll be the second Hokage whatever-his-name-is or Lincoln with the big top hat! I love hats! I wonder if any of the Akatsuki have hats, other then the sorta umbrella thing they have. Those are sorta weird. Well I supose it hids their identity pretty good, I'll have to ask them when I meet them, Kisame said I'd come with him so I don't see how I wouldn't meet them. The base would probably be a big mountain like the one they took Gaara to. What if the Akatsuki won't talk to me because I'm just a little girl? that would suck! What if their mean? Kisame wouldn't let them be mean to me, but still if they turn out to be jerks. I'm gunna be sad… I wonder how far the base is. I wonder what happended to that guy I saw Itachi and Kisame beating up.

Hmm.

Hes probably dead….

Poor guy.

* * *

"are we there yet?"

"Nope!"

"Cool, how much longer?"

"Not much!"

"Cool!"

* * *

"We're here!"

"Huzah!" I shouted jumping in the air.

"Now I just have to talk to leader, and then we can get you a room to stay in! So just wait out here, if you try to come in without leaders permission the base would zap you with all of the lightning that leader had us put in the new security system" he said proudly

"don't worry I'll stay out here" I said nodding my head.

"Good, be right back" he said as he turned and walked through the door of a nice looking farm house, with a flower garden and white porch swing.

I thought it was a good disgusie.

Kisame said that most of the base was underground, but the living space was above ground, he said it was because leader said that it did psychological damage to live under ground. I supose that's true I wouldn't want to live underground unless it was underground in a snow fort that I made with my friends, that would be fun. But actually living underground that would be like-

"Hey! Who the hell are you?" what? Who would be so rude? And especially when just meeting someone! I turned around and saw Hiden, and a little behind him Kakuzu. How cool is this! Hiden and Kakuzu! The zombie crew! I'll make the best first impression, and ask Kakuzu if he's part Time Lord! And-

"I said, who the hell are you! Are you deaf you fu-"

"THUD"

"What the hell did you do that for!" Hiden shouted after getting up from where he hit the ground when Kakuzu hit him.

"never curse in front of the a lady." he said matter of factly.

"What About All Those Other Times You Fu-"

"THUD"

"never cuse in front of a lady" he repeteted.

It seemed as if they would go on for awhile so I steped forward, stuck my hand out, and said what my mother ingrained into my head at a early age "hi, my names Asami, whats yours?" well not the name part, the name part was suppose to be Alexandria.

they both stopped, looked up at me, and Kakuzu took my hand and shook it while saying "Kakuzu, nice to meet you"

"the fu -"SMACK" hell do you think you're doing? You just meet a creepy girl outside the base and you shake her hand? She could be a spy!" he thought I was 'creepy'? Hiden thought I was 'creepy? that hurts. It really does.

"this" he said continuing as though Hiden hadn't said anything " is Hiden, please don't mind him he's just upset that he can't read a map"

"shut up! That road was on the map! It was just too small for you to see without your glasses grampa!"

"what did you say!"

They started to fight again. I think that staying here might be a bit different then I had first imagined. But I think in a good way.


	12. is this what going into shock is like?

DISCLAIMER I do not own Naruto or any thing else I might mention in this story.

* * *

"wake up, yeah" stupid Chris, waking me up, what's his problem. I didn't think we had to do anything today that's why we scheduled the party yesterday…. Oh, yeah the party…crap…then… who's waking me up?

"come on wake up- OW!"

"Stay Away, Creeper!" I screamed, jumping up and away from this creeper, but not before a attempted kick to the knee.

"what the hell, yeah? I saved you! Why'd you kick me, yeah!" oh my god. That face. that voice. That incredibly annoying and endearing speech impediment. could it be? Is that Deidara! And he saved me?

"Oh, okay then" I said, oh god, oh god. Oh god, this is maybe not so good. Not that Deidara isn't cool and with me being in a place with FREAKING NINJAS and FREAKING MOUTHS ON MY HANDS it's actually rather plausible that I had somehow fallen into another dimension that exists only in a comic book on my home world, and that the event's and people portrayed in the comic are how this worlds history played out, but then again after everything that's happened it would also be plausible that the unicorns have just been in hiding and are actually running Interpol….is this what going into shock is like?

"hello? Tobi thinks the girl can't hear you, maybe it's because she hasn't had any orange juice yet"

Orange juice? I like orange juice, I don't have it that much.

Quickly standing up I respond " I would love some of that orange juice."

Snapping out of my orange juice affected insanity… being in ninja world probably helped… wait am I going insane there is no ninjas I was probably carted of to a anime convention while sleeping or something. No, stupid theory, I would've had to been carted off to doctor Frankenstein too for the hands.

and that's most likely Not what happened I'm gonna have to face facts if I want to continue life.

Okay what are the facts?, number one I'm here without anyone I know, present company excluded seeing as I don't think their suppose to exist.

Number two I'm.. in a cave…. With pillows.. And a mixing bowl.

Number three I need to get somewhere.

Number four I need to figure out where I need to go.

Number five I really hurt. Like really bad. Like I have to stop myself from moving bad. I think I should stay sitting down. Ow. Must have been that fall on that hill.

"Are you okay, yeah?" said Deidara looking down at me while rubbing his knee. I guess my kick worked, that's good to know.

"yeah" I mutter looking at my bandage covered arms. When did the bandage happen?

"you fell, Tobi had to fix you up, you shouldn't fall like that" Tobi said reprovingly to the unasked question, while waving a wooden spoon at my face that was covered in what I assume is waffle batter.

"o..kay.. So, De- umm, w-who are you guys?" God! I almost called him by his name! who knows what they'd do to me if they found out what I knew! Something horrible! I should pretend to be mute. yes! I'll do that! then there's no way they'll find ou- oh crap! I already said stuff. That was such a good idea.

"I'm Tobi! And that's Deidara my bestest friend!" said Tobi, picking up the mixing bowl and stirring with the spoon.

"I'm not your friend, yeah! How many times do I have to say it!" said Deidara after hitting Tobi over the head. Wow, its like I'm at a theater, they're just like thy are on paper. Except alive, I'm gonna stick with them forever! 'they do some bad stuff.' Said a little voice in my head which I hear from time to time when I contemplate whether I'm going to sneak that batch of cookies from the fridge that mom told me not to eat, 'am I gonna do bad stuff too?' the annoying voice continued, ' no! just cause I stay with them doesn't mean I have to do bad stuff!' I argued back. 'it might' it said in its sanctimonious little voice. 'but they're so cool! There's no way I'm not gonna stay with them!' 'I can't hang with them if they're killing people, mom would be disappointed.' But they're soo cool! and this is a once in a life time opportunity! and mom always says to try new things! How much newer can it get?' 'that's not what she meant and I know it!' 'Yeah well what choice do I have? I don't know where I am and they do! I have to stay with them! 'fine but as soon as there's a way to go back home I have to leave them' 'ahhh, fine!. Stupid voice in my head, telling me what to do! Like it thinks I'm going to listen to it or something!

"why am I here, and where's here?" I asked after a pause

" your in a cave that not even the best trackers can find, and you're here cause I saved you from those Iwa scum." said Deidara, Iwa? Um, I think I remember something like that, there was this girl and guy that were talking, about earth and capitals and mattress stores. my memory's fuzzy. I must have my head on that hill. Damn hill.

"oh, right… so, I can.. go?" any way it was all very confusing, especially the saving part.

" of course! It's not like I'm going to rescue you and then keep you against your will, yeah" he said sounding offended,

"and you saved me from Iwa." I said, just to make sure.

"I did, yeah" he said proudly.

"Tobi helped!" said Tobi taking a pan out of a cupboard on the wall.

"so, I can leave?" not that I wanted to leave or had somewhere to go.

"not yet, yeah"

"oh.. Right" what does he mean 'not yet'?

"Deidara sempai! You have to tell girl why she can't leave yet remember? If you don't tell her she might get sad like the last one we saved!" Tobi said, as he started waving the waffle spoon again 'the last one we saved'? what does he mean by that?

"shut up Tobi! I was just getting to that! Anyway you can't leave yet because if we just drop you somewhere then Iwa's hunter nin will just bring you back to their labs. So you have to stay here until your escape dies down and I can place you in some backwater village where they won't find you, yeah"

"so I'd be staying in this cave how long exactly?" that didn't sound good, I can't be stranded up here while… Stuff! is Happening down in the ninja world! that's just stupid!

"twelve to thirteen months, not that long, yeah"

I think my mouths just dropped open.


	13. crazy demon's

DISCLAIMER I do not own Naruto.

* * *

What the hell? I mean what the freaking hell. I'm running from, I don't even know any more! And its still chasing me!

The fire has stopped, it stopped ten minutes ago. And I have run out of the village to a sort of forest-y area, something is coming after me, I don't know what, I don't even know how I know that something's behind me! I don't know how I got to the 'Naruto world! I don't know how I'm running as fast as I'm running and not getting tired! I don't know why everything was bursting in to flame! I don't know how to find my sister and friends! I apparently don't know anything!

Whatever was after me was getting closer, a lot closer, and I wasn't even sure I should be running away from it, I mean, for all I know it could be a group of adoring fans who want my autograph.

What? It could happen.

that's it! whoever's chasing me is going to get kicked in the face if they don't stop. I turn my thoughts back to running and after two minutes I still some how know something's there. Damn it! I'm going to kick them in the face!

I see a lake ahead, I'll just turn around there and face this creep, and if he's the guy who was making the fire earlier then I can just jump in the water and wait him out. Hey, yeah! If he's a ninja then he'd never stoop so low as to actually getting wet in a lake instead walking on top of it! Ha Ha hah gotcha there, stinking ninja! There's no way you can work around my brilliant plan!

As I get closer to the lake the jerk following me speeds up even more, I get five feet from the shore and spin around, just in time to see a crazy red eyed, black haired, demon monster come hurtling out of a bushes with the intent to eat my face off. My thoughts were as follows. .

And that was before the thing started to vomit fire at me.

With a great "whoosh" the flaming vomit came straight toward my head, I being the extremely cool, collected, and calm kinda guy I am that keeps a cool head in any situation no matter how taxing, promptly screamed like my sister and jumped more then fifty feet in the air ( I have no idea about that one ether) and landed in the middle of the lake. What the hell? Like you wouldn't scream if a crazy demon threw up lava at you?

When I hit the surface of the lake I was met with ice cold water beating against my ribcage causing me to suck in a involuntary breath, as I started to sink rapidly I flailed my arms around trying to get to the surface, regardless that I didn't know which way it was.

Dimly I realized that it wasn't a fan club that was following me, and equally as dimly I noted that the lack of oxygen to my brain was causing me to think about stuff other then saving myself, which was not.. Uh, good. Not good.

Ugh. I thought everything was lighter when you were under water, but now it just feels heavy, like lead.

The lack of air that was like a steel hand clamping on my throat has lessened to a tired throbbing in my head, its making me feel sleepy, this place would be so nice to sleep. Its so pretty. The dark green algae on the lake bottom, the way the sunlight filters through the water and onto the scales of the fish, the way the water sways when a fire regurgitating demon jumps in. the way the water grass…. wait what?

I try to feebly swim away too late as the demon gets closer and I lose consciousness.

* * *

this is my chance.

All the training, all the experiments, all the scars, all those damn tea party's with four eyes and Orochimaru. Its all about to pay off.

Itachi. Was. Going. To. Pay. That was all there was to it. No way was I gong to miss this opportunity, I was going to run down that coward Itachi, and kill him, thus clearing the name of the Uchiha.

'How would it clear the Uchiha name exactly?' Said a small meaningless voice. 'Itachi is such a coward', I continued squashing the pathetic voice with practiced ease. 'he truly is, what does he expect to gain from running away? Other then a few more seconds of his measly life, I mean.' he didn't run any of he other times we met, he must now see that I've come to his level. And he's running away because of that! The Coward! I quickened my pace, no way was that bastard getting away from me!

Ha, he was finally coming to a stop at a lake, what? Does he expect his big blue freak, that he travels with to save his skin with the lake?

No, I only see one signature up there, but the chakra.. No it has to be Itachi's, who else could it be? Itachi's chakra could have changed, its not that different from how I remember it, and who knows what the Akatsuki's doing with the tailed beasts? It's probably just some sick experiment that Itachi went through because he thought it'd save him from when I caught up to him. which was right now.

The clearing was right in front of me and Itachi had stopped moving he was just on the other side of a bush, I ran through it ready for anything.

Time to die, brother.

* * *

"Sasuke likes to cause problems, doesn't he?" said lord Orochimaru, more to himself, then to me.

I answered anyway, "so it would seem, my lord" lord Orochimaru didn't look up at my reply, but continued to stare in the direction that Sasuke ran. By now most of the town was consumed in flame, nothing the townspeople did worked, well of course it didn't, I thought bitterly, uchiha flame was notoriously hard to put out , and with a village of civilians it was doomed to burn, they might as well just get out well they can and leave the flame for a passing ninja to take care of, least they should parish with their home.

"Kabuto, go after Sasuke I have reason to believe that it is indeed not Itachi that created these flames. And if it is Itachi please make sure that Sasuke does not kill himself, it would be most unfortunate if he were to do so" said lord Orochimaru finally looking up at me, "I" he said taking a glass vial out of a hidden pocket in his sleeve. "will go back to the base" he took the vial and went to a nearby collapsing building and scooped some of the flame into it. "and study this more closely" he finished replacing the vial back in its pocket.

"of course my lord" I said jumping away

* * *

When I jumped out of that bush and unleashed a fireball I did not expect this.

I did not expect for there to be some skinny tall kid about my age to be standing there looking at me like I was his worst nightmare or something. My first thought was that he was just some decoy or illusion that Itachi had come up with to mess me up, so I completed the fireball and directed it at the kid.

I did not expect the kid to scream like a little girl and jumped fifty feet into the air hang there for a second and then go plummeting to the lake beneath him. That was… weird.

I swung around expecting a attack from behind, but Itachi wasn't there. What? I scanned the area with my sharingan but didn't pick up anything other then that kid thrashing around in the lake. Wait. I jumped out to the spot the kid fell in, and I took a closer look at him, he was desperately swimming towards the lake bed, but, there was no mistaking it, he was the one with Uchiha Chakra.

How can this be? I asked myself, Itachi could be in a disguise? No I would be able to see through it.

Could it be another Uchiha? My heat began pounding against my chest, No! it can't be! He killed them all! This is just some sick joke that snake freak and four eyes are playing on me as some sort of test! Yeah, that's it, now I'm going to go back over to the tea shop and kill them both.

I turn to leave but catch a glance of the kid, his movements were growing sluggish. He'd stop moving altogether soon, and then he'd drown. Unless.. Unless Itachi didn't kill everyone, unless some got away, unless I was willing to believe that. The kid was going to drown.

"dammit!" I cursed before diving down to stop the kid, and possibly the only other living uchiha I didn't hate from drowning. Damn it, I hate getting wet.


	14. why all the questions?

-"so, what was Sasuke like before it happened? Was he all moody like he is now? Did he play stuff with other kids?" said Blondie.

"I do not know Sasuke"

"was he normal? Do you know why he doesn't like candy? Is there some traumatic experience behind it?" said pinky. Ignoring me. Again.

"I don't know Sasuke"

"did you ever see any baby pictures? Did you go to a birthday party of his? you're way older then him right? You remember right?" continued Blondie.

"I do not nor have I ever known Sasuke"

"what was his favorite toy? Did he-"

"both of you enough! She doesn't know Sasuke! Would you quite asking her about him?" said pig-in-arms. Seriously what sort of mentally deranged creeper would go around carrying a freaking Pig in they're arms?

"yeah, I don't know Sasuke, would you quite keeping me prisoner for looking like him?" I asked blandly from my seat at the table across from pinky and Blondie.

"you know full well that's not the only reason you're being held here" said Kakashi from the corner. "now if you'd just answer the questions that actually matter" he said casting a 'look' at pinky and Blondie "then we just might be able to work something out"

I stared at the wall, waiting for something to happen. Like I had been for the past ten minutes when I first got to this stupid 'meeting' on what I'll be doing while enjoying my stay at the leaf village. So far those two dumbos across from me have just been asking me stupid questions about Sasuke, apparently I'm his cousin, and when I tried to correct them Kakashi gave me the 'say it and be sorry look' Ugh. Me related to snake traitor? Perish the thought.

"okay, first things first" said Kakashi taking out a clipboard. "what's your name?"

"seriously? You're asking my name now? That is really so not cool I mean-" I stopped mid ramble as Kakashi tapped his clipboard both impatiently and threateningly.

"Anna Cassel" I said, starring at the wall again.

"what the heck kinda name is that? An-nah Csess-sel? Your parents must've been really dumb"

"whap"

"Ow what'd I do Sakura?"

"moving on" said Kakashi ignoring the idiots in front of me in what I assume could only be with professional ease, as he started jotting things down in his clipboard . "age?"

"17" I ground out, maybe if I got this over quickly I could have some more of that bread.

"eye color?"

"isn't it obvious by looking at me?" I asked, snarky I know. I also knew that this was annoying and pointless.

"eye color?" he repeated.

"dark, dark brown that's always mistaken for black, you stinking pigeon" he was chuckling again. And jotted .

"hair color?"

"black" more jotting

"weight?"

"never you mind" more jotting

"height?"

" the taller side of 5 ft" more jotting

"place of origin?"

"hidden village of beer and cheese" he gave me a blank look at that and jotted something down on the clipboard.

"I never heard of that village before, where is it?" said pinky, with curiosity, but mostly suspicion.

"what?" I gasped, "I can't tell you that!"

"why not?" said Blondie, leaning closer.

"because if everyone knew where it was, it wouldn't be a hidden village!" I said eyes wide.

There was silence for a moment as everyone stared at me like I was a nut job. And then Kakashi cleared his throat and muttered under his breath "would they just get over that already?" and just went right on with his questioning.

"living relatives?"

"isn't that the whole reason you're keeping me here?" I said eyebrow raised at Kakashi, waiting for a reaction.

"No, and other then that." he said without missing a beat. Damn him.

"none of your beeswax, then" he looked at me for a moment and then, more jotting

The questions continued in this fashion until I felt entirely annoyed, like that was new. But anyway putting the fact that I was still tied up and being held against my will and what I'm sure is several of my constitutional rights, aside. I was actually starting to lighten up. I mean, its not every day you get to meet, well, to put it blunt to the point of embarrassment, people who you felt okay stalking because you thought they didn't exist.

I mean if these guys knew half of the things I've said about them… well lets just say it wouldn't be pretty.

For anyone.

But especially me.

"well, now that that's over with, we have things to discuss." said Kakashi after he finished jotting down something in the clipboard. I looked back up at him, narrowing my eyes.

"what sort of things?" I asked.

"well a number of things really" he said back, just as coolly as he always did.

"what sort of a number of things?" I asked full-blown glaring now.

"like whether or not you're going to help us save Sasuke!" shouted Naruto, knocking his chair over as he stood up and slammed his hands on the table.

"Naruto you don't just go out and say it like that you idiot! What if she's working with Orochimaru, and not just Sasuke's cousin! You need to know who you're dealing with first, you idiot!" screamed Sakura as she grabbed Naruto by the shoulder and smacked him across the face. Repeatedly.

"wha? Ow!, Sakuraa! Kakashi already told us it was Sasuke's cousin!" said Naruto as he cowered on the floor.

Wow, I knew Sakura was violent but I didn't think she liked hitting Naruto quite this much. Its like instead of buying one of those squishy stress-reliever balls they sell at stores she said 'no thanks, I can just beat up Naruto'. seriously I bet that if Naruto wasn't a fox container Sakura would've killed him by now.

"you don't know that for sure! And even if she is who Kakashi says she is you don't just blurt it out like that! Have you ever even heard of 'subtlety?" continued Sakura, pausing in her hitting to make sure Naruto could hear all of his verbal abuse to go along with the physical abuse.

"now, now, Sakura calm down, hitting Naruto isn't going to help anything." said Kakashi who looked like he was very much fearing for Naruto's life. Haha! He's afraid of angry Sakura? I'm so going to shove that in his face the next time he asks me to say please!

"I told you I don't even know Sasuke, I can't tell you anything about him. And other then that in what way could I possibly help you? The all powerful ninjas? and You do know that just because someone is related to someone else doesn't necessarily mean that they actually know each other right?" I said, jeez, would these guys just get it through they're thick skulls? " The only things I know is that he's a guy, which I'm not" I said that with a particularly spite-filled glance at Kakashi" he's a criminal of some kind like his brother, and he is an uchiha…. Like me" I added that last bit because I suppose Kakashi had some weird reason for telling them that, (though why I can't possibly fathom) and I suppose it'd be good to keep whatever it is that he's doing up until I can ask him why the hell he told them I'm that doorknobs cousin.

" well' said Kakashi, as Naruto and Sakura got their chairs upright and sat back down. "there are a couple ways you could help, but we have thought about it and decided that the best way would be as bait"

"wait what?"


	15. i'm not a bum!

"So, this is Kakuzu's room. And that's Hiden's, over here is Deidara's and that's Tobi's those two aren't here which is unfortunate I guess cause then you would have had someone sort of your age to play with."

"sort of my age?"

"uh, well.. I'm not really sure about Tobi, he's sort of like this weird man child that kills people, and then calls his partner mean for not playing with him… Hmm maybe it's a good thing they're not here."

"oh.." I said, looking at the door with a childish scrawl in orange crayon, that Kisame pointed out to me that said 'ToBi'. so far the Atkatsuki base was okay. It wasn't what you'd expect, I guess but it was pretty cool. After Kisame came back from the leader he told Kakuzu and Hiden to not do anything stupid in front of me or he'd kill them, to which Hiden tried to tell Kisame to go do something not very nice and Kakuzu said 'fine' while stomping on Hiden's head.

To avoid any unwanted suspicion, I'm acting like I don't already know most of what Kisame is telling me. Its actually a lot harder then it sounds, I have to monitor everything that comes out of my mouth! I have to play dumb! I have to make sure I ask the sort of questions people would normally ask! It was actually starting to hurt my head a little..

"and this!" said Kisame proudly, opening a door and ushering me inside. "is my room!" it looked pretty awesome. There was a desk with scrolls and brush's on it, there was a table next to the bed with a gold fish bowl and a alarm clock on it, there was a closet with cloths spilling out of it onto the floor, a bright window with sun shining through on to the fish bowl, but the coolest thing in the room was the shrine with all the weapons.

"cool" I said eyes fixed on the cushioned shelf empty at the moment, but I was certain on what went there. Next to the self was cleaning supplies and around the cushion on the shelf was throwing stars kunai knifes weird spiky things, all shining in the sun, and stacks of paper with strange symbols.

Kisame saw me looking, then chuckling removed the sword from his back and laid it on the cushion.

It seemed to sparkle and dazzle ten times more then all the other metal things around it when the sun hit it, even though it was covered in bandages and.. Bandages .. Don't.. sparkle.. ?

"ummm… Kisame? Why is it sparkling?"

"oh, that's just because it knows its home, so its releasing some of the chakra it stores because its so happy."

"oh.. Of course.. that's why." it could be happy? The sword could be happy. Does that mean it can be jealous? Is it gunna get jealous of me spending so much time with Kisame and then try to kill me in my sleep? Can it move? Can it get mad? What is it feeling when Kisame use's it to kill someone? If Kisame use's a kunai to kill someone instead of it does it get jealous of the kunai? Would Kisame have to throw away the kunai for the sword to kill people for him again? What does Itachi think about having a partner who has to throw away a kunai to appease another weapon? My heads hurting again.

"so we always have the guest rooms but most of those are downstairs and not very… accommodating. So I could ether set up a cot in here, or you could stay in the guest room next to leaders room.. Nah I'll just get a cot in here" said Kisame thoughtfully. "you stay right here and I'll be back in a minute, here you can play with Walter." he said, taking my shoulder and steering me over to the fish bowl. "he loves playing with people, oh you can feed him to the foods right there, or you could give him a treat, those are under the bed, but he's not used to you yet so be careful of your fingers" he said giving me another big smile before leaving.

I inspected the little blue green fishy, it looked cute, with a big pretty tail, like a beta fish, and his mouth is so small, like it could barely fit one of those tiny fish food pellets that Kisame pointed out, in there. What did he mean 'careful of my fingers'? I kneeled on the floor and looked under the bed, there was a plastic box with tape on it saying 'Treats' I pulled it out and opened it, inside were pink unidentifiable cube's that were way bigger then the food pellets were. Maybe it dissolves? I thought picking one up. I moved over to the bowl and dropped it in. the fish swam to the surface of the water where it was floating. And then its tail sort of split in two and the… cube was no more as its tail cut it up into little pieces. There was a gurgle as a bubble floated to the surface and popped. That is weird. I'm most likely not going to play with Walter. Or any other fish I see ever again.

* * *

I was sitting on the floor of Kisame's room. a map of the five country's in front of me, I was trying to figure out where the most likely place the others would be, if they did actually come here as well. So far I had it narrowed down to somewhere on this map… I didn't even really know where I started before going to that restaurant, but.. I think I turned into a shark thing. At first I was really worried that the makeup would come off if I took a shower and then Kisame would kill me for being a spy or something.. But then I started to smell pretty bad, and that'd probably be suspicious. So last night I finally got up the courage to take a shower, and then was even more scared when none of the make up came off and none of the temporary hair dye came out of my hair. I have also been biting my tongue a lot when eating because my teeth are very sharp. I think that somehow whatever trans-dimensional ship I sailed on to get here somehow confused me with my costume and… I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm now a shark person. that's that. Even though its disturbing and I have dreams about swimming into a school of fish and gulping them all down.

Anyway, if I'm going to assume that we're all here then because we were all wearing costumes, then Anna's now a uchiha, Chris is a Tobi, and Chase is a genetic mutation. Thing. So maybe, since I was at mist, Anna would be in the leaf? Or maybe sound? And then since Deidara came from Iwagakuru-what'sit and Chase dressed up as him then maybe she'd be there? And Chris would be? Darn it! They always said there was really cool stuff going on with Tobi! But I told them to not tell me because I didn't like spoilers! Maybe if I knew where he came from.. I still probably wouldn't know where anyone is.

Anyway I had this time to look at maps and plot because Kisame had a mission, and despite him wanting to take me with him, him and leader had a discussion and decided that it'd be better if I stayed here. At lest that's what Kisame told me. I still haven't met leader, and from what Hiden tells me when Kakuzu isn't around he's sort of scary, of course that's not how Hiden said it. But well, I suppose I'll leave it to you to guess how he said it.

So, here I am after four days of being at the base. It's pretty fun. So far its just been me, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hiden, with leader in his room I think, I got to go down in to the basement one time to watch Kisame train and he even taught me some stuff too! and now I can throw up a puddle! Its super cool! Of course its not like Kisame who can throw up a whole ocean if he wanted to. But he says I'm making wonderful progress! Especially considering the head injury that made me forget everything.

And Hiden and Kakuzu are cool too, last night Hiden made dinner and it was great! It was some weird dish that I never had before, and we had to eat outside because Hiden put his hand on the burner the whole time he was cooking, so the house smelled like burnt flesh and we had to open up all of the widows and turn on the fans and spray a bunch of frebreze and stuff. But the food was really good.

"hey squirt we're going to town you wanna come?" oh yeah, because of my throw up puddle Hiden has given me the nickname 'squirt' I kind of like it. Although its not very intimidating for a ninja, which I'm so gunna be. But, not the type of ninja that kills people, or.. Gets killed. Yeah I'll be that type of ninja!

I stuffed the maps behind me under my cot before standing up and smiling at Hiden standing in the doorway, "sure! But how far is it? Its not like three hours away is it?"

"nah, its only an hour or something, now are you gunna come or not? I'd like to get a move on and its bad enough I have to wait for grandpa over there to get ready, I don't need you slowing me down too." I'm still not sure I actually like Hiden, and at times like these I really consider telling Kisame he was being mean to me so he'll cut off his head.

"see ya later grandpa, squirt, I have to go convert some unbelievers" said Hiden once we reached the town.

"what does that mean?" I asked looking up at Kakuzu.

"I personally have no idea, or interest in what Hiden does in his free time and I suggest you do the same." he said, Very wisely in my opinion.

"okay.. So what are you going to buy? Food for the base? Movies? More paper plates? Ohh! Can we get some candy? or cake?"

"who said anything about buying? Why do you think I told Hiden to ask you to come?"

uh, what? I thought. "uh, what?" I said.

"to steal things, you being a child can go unnoticed more often then me, although its possible the blue would even it out. Hmm, maybe. Anyway , first on the list is apples, there's a stall with them right over there, just sneak over and grab a few and then come find me when you're done. I'll be over by the butcher shop."

"wait! What? You want me to steal things? But-"

"keep your voice down. the apple vendor probably heard you, you'll have put on a disguise before go over there now."

"but- but. I can't steal that! Wh- what if she catch's me!" I hissed out, he really just brought me along so I could steal stuff?

"sure you can, she hardly notices anything. All you have to do is go over there and wait until she starts talking to the man in the stall next to her and then you grab them and walk away." he said it so mater of fact-ly that I almost believed him. And then I remembered he's a crazy person who steals peoples hearts… After killing them.. You know, not the falling in love way…

"uh, I'd really rather not steal thank you Kakuzu."

"hmm, well there's only one thing to do then I suppose."

Uh, oh that doesn't sound very good.

* * *

This is so stupid. I came to see the sights of a ninja world town! To travel with zombies! To maybe see some awesome ninja stuff in action! Not sit on the street and pretend to be a bum! Stupid Kakuzu! He's so dumb!

"clink"

"thank you!" I called after the kind lady who put a weird little coin thing into the cup, I'm holding.

stupid, dumbo, stinking old zombie. I'm so going to tell Kisame when he gets back and then he's gunna go up to Kakuzu and punch him in the face, and kick him in the head, and punch him in the stomach, and then he's gunna take him to a tree and get those strings in his arms and use those to tie him up on a branch like a piñata and then use Sahamada like a bat and hit him until candy comes out, and-

"hey kid, nice sign." I looked over to my sign which read 'PooR AnD nEDIny Funs 4 sHooL' Kakuzu gave it to me, he said it would fit me perfectly.

"uh, thanks" I said before looking up at the stranger.

"yep, I'm sure you used your noggin while thinking that one up" he said, looking the sign over. He was dressed like me, mussed up clothing, with dirt and grass stains on it, I got that from Kakuzu as well.

"too bad you didn't use that noggin of yours when you decided to start looking for handouts in my territory" he said as he got this really scary look on his face.

"um, okay.. I'll just go. then." I slowly stood up holding tightly to my cup and sign, Kakuzu said if I lost them I'd owe him. I did not want to owe that stupid person.

"great, great. Except I'll be needing to take you're earnings for today, and whatever else you have on you, and we'll call it even." now he was all back to happy, happy, this guy is so creepy. I will be running now.

"uh, sure! Just hold on, and I'll get it and, oh, my god! What's that?-" and then I turned and ran.

Oh man! That was such a lame trick! I hope he fell for it! I hope he fell for it! I hope he fell for-

"ahh!" a hand grabbed me on the shoulder and spun me around so I was facing Scary Guy.

"just give me the money and I'll let y-"said Scary Guy, but he didn't get to finish because I the most awesome ninja, looked back on my ninja training and called upon my ninja training to help me escape like a ninja. I clamped my eyes shut in concentration, I clasped my hands together into the appropriate sign, well as much as I could while holding my cup and cardboard sign, I breathed in a deep, deep breath, almost like I was about to hock a loogie, and concentrated on my lungs filling with water. My chest started to burn and then my lungs really were filling with water and then I spewed it all out as hard as I could.

I opened my eyes, and saw Scary Guy still holding on to me although pretty stunned and sopping wet. It seemed as though my throw up puddle was still just a puddle and didn't do that much damage to a person.

So taking his stunned state to my advantage, I threw the change that was in the cup at his face and started to run away again.

From behind me I heard Scary Guys voice. " Police! Police! Stop that blue girl! She accosted me!"

What! That jerk! If anything HE was the one who accosted ME! A bunch of people must have seen it! Does he really expect anyone to believe him!

"hey! you there! stop in the name of the law!" said a big guy in a uniform, as he started chasing me.

Seriously! Everyone here is a idiot!

"stop right there missy!" said another man in a uniform stepping out from a ally.

"But I Didn't Do Anything! It Was Him! I Swear!"

"sorry miss. But I've learned in my years, that the innocent don't usually have a reason to run."

"What The Heck Are You Talking About! I Was Running From Him! That Scary Guy!"

"you're going to have to come with us down to the station now." said a voice behind me as something cold and smooth went around my wrist and clicked before I could pull it away.

"wha- bu- how- what?" I spluttered as I whipped around to face the first guy in uniform who was holding the other end of the handcuffs that were attached to my wrist.

I was definitely telling Kisame.


End file.
